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12 November 2010 @ 12:01 am
Fic: In Dreams, John/Sherlock, Pg-13  
Title: In Dreams
Author: ruyu
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: John/Sherlock
Word Count: 1277
Disclaimer: Don't own these guys. Obviously.
Summary: Sherlock has seen John in his dreams. He’s on the other side the street, watching, desperate to cross; in another dream they're in separate cabs and their eyes inevitably meet as they pass, John's eyes sad and longing.

Sherlock has seen John in his dreams. He’s on the other side the street, watching, desperate to cross; in another dream they're in separate cabs and their eyes inevitably meet as they pass, John's eyes sad and longing. Most recently though, it was in John’s bedroom, John on one side and Sherlock on the other, separate. Unresolved. Tension. Soft sheets and comfort waiting between them. Sherlock isn’t sure what to think about that last dream.

It’s completely illogical to compare his dreams to real life, and even more absurd to expect them to parallel each other. But a week later John falls behind, as usual, and Sherlock marches across the street as the light flickers and the streets clear. He turns and there’s John, just where he shouldn’t be, left on the other side as the traffic swarms between them. Barricading. It’s nothing... and everything like his dream. John’s face isn’t contorted into desperation like the dream, he’s focused and calm. But Sherlock is burning inside. He could call it impatience, conceivably, but that’s really not it at all, he realizes.

Minutes later, as John finally reaches him, Sherlock locks their elbows together, ignoring John’s complaints about his gangly height. Sherlock tugs him along, grins and thinks to himself, I just need you beside me.

~

The dreams are not visions, Sherlock reminds himself after the crossing incident. He just simply dreamt about common situations that John and himself find themselves in. It’s only logical to dream of places a person frequents often - familiar places, familiar people. So when he and John find themselves in separates cabs, he tries not to put too much stock into it. Not a vision, only coincidence. He tries terribly hard not to look out of his window, but he wants to see those eyes. He needs to watch John’s face, his reaction.

John is smiling. Sherlock’s heart shudders. Then John is gone.

A face catches Sherlock's attention, he looks up and realizes it’s his own in the cabby’s rear view mirror. He looks like John did in his dreams, sad and longing and waiting for the world to right itself where both of them are together. Sherlock ponders the dreams, imagining himself in John’s place, puts John’s expressions on his own face.

John is me. I am John.

This is an unexpected revelation.

I HAVE DREAMS OF US BEING APART - AND WISHING WE WERE TOGETHER, Sherlock types into this mobile, finger resting against the SEND button. He erases it and types, WHEN YOU FIND WHAT YOU NEED, COME BACK TO ME.

MESSAGE SENT

He watches as the world flies past, calculating how much distance is between them. Come back to me.

~

John has noticed. Surprising, but not unexpected. But still, John is beginning to ask questions that Sherlock isn’t prepared to answer.

“Are you alright?” John asks with his back turned making tea. Sherlock tears his away from John’s back, and it’s preposterous to think that John knew he was staring. Right? “As nice as the silence may be, you’re just too quiet. You’ve been like this for the past three weeks.” John picks up their tea and joins him at the table.


Sherlock can’t tell him anything. He can’t say that John has become even more important than he was before this whole dreaming business. He can’t tell him that it took his subconscious projecting his own emotions onto John’s face for Sherlock realize that he felt so strongly about John’s presence in his life. It’s embarrassing, humiliating and makes him feel even less human. Less like a person that could love another. Most of all, he feels undeserving of John’s companionship.

“I’m not sure what you think of me,” Sherlock whispers after a few moments, taping his nail against the side of his cup. He sounds defeated even to his own ears.

John must have heard something else in his statement because he grabs his wrists. His strong fingers wrap around his delicate bones. Stay here, right here with me. He isn’t sure what John’s doing, but he allows John to hold him. “Please, Sherlock.”

Fearing he’ll see his own emotions echoed on his companions face, Sherlock refuses to look at John, though he wants to. He wants, wants, wants so many things all at once he feels selfish.

Like many conversations before this, John grudgingly accepts that he will receive no answer and Sherlock feels the heat leave his wrists. Warmth lingers on his skin like a ghost and Sherlock is lost without him momentarily, like John is the only thing connecting him to the world. Perhaps he is.

~

Sometimes while John’s out, Sherlock will go to the man’s room and look at his meticulously made bed. The lines across the quilted top tell Sherlock how the man smoothed his hands across, tells him how he tugged the lower left corner down to match the other side - perfection. Upon closer inspection, the wrinkled pillow has been fluffed, but Sherlock knows how tightly John grips his pillow to leave such marks. He can imagine John struggling in his nightmare, fighting a great army, running but not going anywhere, suffering the pain of his wound over and over again. And so his fists tighten and crush the pillowcase between his fingers.

“Sherlock...”

He won’t look up now. Wrinkles, pillows, cheap thread count, store brand, left side, right side.

“Sherlock,” John says more firmly, moving further into the room, making Sherlock’s heart seize in his chest because this, this is it. This is where he looks up and he will see John on the other side, his bed between them, in all it’s perfectly made glory. Sherlock can only imagine how he’d mess it up with John, sheets pushed aside so he can explore John’s skin and his muscles and his....

“What are you doing in my room, Sherlock?”

“I have dreams of us being apart - and wishing we were together.” When he finally opens his eyes, he sees John is right where he shouldn’t be, across the room, looking at him over the bed. Only now John turns and he’s coming around and they’re both on the same side now. Together, like they should always be.

“And I dream of you pushing me away and sliding into the darkness,” John says softly and his warm hands are back on Sherlock’s wrist, like they belong there to always keep Sherlock grounded. He feels solid and whole next to John instead of simply floating away. “I look and look, but never know where you’ll go next.”

There is heat that wasn’t there before, glowing and burning between them. Aflame. John says,“But they’re only dreams,” and Sherlock can’t tell John, not yet, how he dreamed of what would happen.

But he didn’t dream John coming to him.

Sherlock pulls him closer, turning his wrists in John’s grip and pulls their fingers together. “I need you beside me.” Their lips are touching, dry, chapped and unprepared for the moment. “Always come back to me.” John’s mouth opens and heat escapes him like a furnace, enticing Sherlock with it’s heat and wetness. He licks at their lips, pushing past the seams of Sherlock’s lips.

John lets out a ragged, painful noise before he bites Sherlock’s bottom lip and plunges deeply into his mouth, spreading it wide with his forceful kiss. The kisses continue to be consuming and hot like molten lava and he can’t fathom how John can contain such heat in his body; surely he’ll burn from it. But then Sherlock feels the same burning sensation and maybe they’re both full of this sweltering heat.

They are going to melt each other down. They’ll melt anything that comes between them.
 
 
Current Music: Emancipator - When I Go | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
 
Amariszeldavitch on November 12th, 2010 06:20 am (UTC)
wow not only was this story so utterly beautiful...the song that was playing along with this [as I'm reading] went so perfectly well. @_@ mindblowned.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 05:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
lollipopsiclehappy_braindead on November 12th, 2010 06:53 am (UTC)
This was painfully beautiful. The dreams broke me,you described the feeling of longing so well. I love,love,love it. Thank you for this!
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:00 pm (UTC)
Aw, you're welcome. I really enjoyed writing this. XD
lindsay: readin ur ficsi_know_its_0ver on November 12th, 2010 07:56 am (UTC)
I. LOVE. THIS.
and I am going to come back and tell you exactly why when it is not 3 am and I don't have a headache. but just so you know, right now. this is making me all kinds of happy, in the part of my brain that is still working.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:02 pm (UTC)
Haha. Of course. I'm sorry you had a headache, hope you feel better.
Queen of the Dirty Look: Sherlock/Watson secretmadrona_8 on November 12th, 2010 08:12 am (UTC)
I like the contrast between what Sherlock dreams is going to happen and what really happens. Even though he knows are just that, he keeps expecting the worst to happen when only the very best things are happening.
And I love John's line about Sherlock pushing him away and sliding into darkness. There is something kind of sad and lonely about that. Maybe John's fear of being left behind.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
Absolutely. I'd love to do one of these from John's POV. I think that would be interesting because John seems the type to express his loneliness more readily than Sherlock has here. Thank you for reading, darling. XD
So, pit stop at Mount Doom?: Dancing menlyryk on November 12th, 2010 08:39 am (UTC)
That was just gorgeous. I especially adore the last sentence. They'll melt anything that comes between them. Oh yes.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
Yes, I like that line as well. It seemed fitting since this whole thing was about breaking barriers and just being together. Thank you for reading and commenting! XD
La Madame: sherlock; sherlock | facesm_bfly on November 12th, 2010 10:21 am (UTC)
OMG it's absolutely beautiful and sweet and hot! <3 I like the idea of Sherlock dreaming (he never sleeps in the series XD) of John.
"...like John is the only thing connecting him to the world. Perhaps he is. " = favourite quote ;)
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU!
myszata: john watsonmyszata on November 12th, 2010 10:26 am (UTC)
Very angsty, emotional and hot in the end.
I like the way you create emotional atmosphere between chcaracters. Impressed.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I appreciate that. I usually use music to help myself create an atmosphere, I'm glad that came across. XD
(no subject) - myszata on November 12th, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - myszata on November 12th, 2010 07:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
thedeadparrot: stranger in a strange landthedeadparrot on November 12th, 2010 11:50 am (UTC)
This is gorgeous. It's so drenched in yearning that it's almost palatable.

I love your Sherlocck as he works through everything.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
mysterypoet66mysterypoet66 on November 12th, 2010 01:18 pm (UTC)
I'm rather fond of the sense of world-stopping. Stillness but not-still. This is lovely.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:29 pm (UTC)
I imagine that Sherlock goes away in his mind and everything seems to pause and wait on him. Thank you for your comment. XD

Hope you don't mine that I friended you. I love your stories.
(no subject) - mysterypoet66 on November 12th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Tuesdays with Moriarty: sherlock/johntueswmoriarty on November 12th, 2010 02:27 pm (UTC)
Wow. I'm gobsmacked. This was really beautiful. I loved the way they dreamed of each other, as each other.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:29 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks. :3
Ariane DeVere: Sherlock - night smilearianedevere on November 12th, 2010 03:46 pm (UTC)
This is really beautiful.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Lou: Sherlock/Johnquantumdoll on November 12th, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
This is absolutely stunning. Incredible stuff m'dear.
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much. XD
(Deleted comment)
Ruyuruyu on November 12th, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad you think so. XDD
wishyouwashhere: sherlock bbcwishyouwashhere on November 12th, 2010 08:13 pm (UTC)
I loved this -- the tension and pacing is gorgeous.

Aflame.

Lovely.
Ruyuruyu on November 14th, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
DarthHelloKittydarthhellokitty on November 13th, 2010 03:22 am (UTC)
I am AMAZED by this wonderful fic.

The way Sherlock is affected by something as ordinary as he and John being separated while crossing the street is fantastic.

A face catches Sherlock's attention, he looks up and realizes it’s his own in the cabby’s rear view mirror. He looks like John did in his dreams, sad and longing and waiting for the world to right itself where both of them are together. Sherlock ponders the dreams, imagining himself in John’s place, puts John’s expressions on his own face.

Perfect insight.

The part where Sherlock observes John's bed - perfectly made, but the sheets have almost invisible wrinkles - very cool.

“I have dreams of us being apart - and wishing we were together.” When he finally opens his eyes, he sees John is right where he shouldn’t be, across the room, looking at him over the bed. Only now John turns and he’s coming around and they’re both on the same side now. Together, like they should always be.

“And I dream of you pushing me away and sliding into the darkness,” John says softly and his warm hands are back on Sherlock’s wrist, like they belong there to always keep Sherlock grounded. He feels solid and whole next to John instead of simply floating away. “I look and look, but never know where you’ll go next.”


It's the exact reflection.
Ruyuruyu on November 14th, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU. I'm really glad you like it. I really wanted Sherlock to discovering this on his own, consciously or unconsciously. It's also another thing that John and himself have in common - the dreams and the emotions they bring out in their real lives.

Thank you very much for your thoughts! XDD
dominique012 on November 13th, 2010 12:19 pm (UTC)
I love this. It's really beautiful. Sherlock's longing and their attraction. Wow. :)

Edited at 2010-11-13 12:20 pm (UTC)
Ruyuruyu on November 14th, 2010 04:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad you think so. ^____^
Ascendant Angelascendant_angel on November 14th, 2010 02:09 pm (UTC)
Wandered here after this was rec'ed I can see why it was, this is awesome.
Ruyuruyu on November 14th, 2010 04:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you! *is flattered*
kitsunenagisakitsunenagisa on November 15th, 2010 05:26 am (UTC)
Lovely. Absolutely lovely. It's pieces like this that inspire me to write out my own stories. Thank you.
Ruyuruyu on November 15th, 2010 06:12 pm (UTC)
Aw. Thank you, that's very kind of you to say. XD
Testiclat McJunkpunch: applaudsstupid_drawings on November 16th, 2010 06:59 pm (UTC)
Brava! Lovely!
Ruyuruyu on November 22nd, 2010 04:39 am (UTC)
Late reply is late. >.<. Thank you very much!! I'm glad you liked it.
clioidaeclioidae on November 22nd, 2010 04:20 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness that left me breathless!
Ruyuruyu on November 22nd, 2010 04:41 am (UTC)
Thank you very much!! I'm pleased with your response since I love reading fics that leave me breathless. XD
Dakotad_kota on November 23rd, 2010 01:00 am (UTC)
LOVE
yinmeister on December 12th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
Wow, loved the slow burn... UST rocks. Of course John won't leave him, of course Sherlock won't shut John out... but you still feel the risk there, the fear. And such a steamy first kiss - love love love first kiss stories. Thank you so much for sharing this!
the_tire_swingthe_tire_swing on March 21st, 2011 04:45 am (UTC)
Jesus that is gorgeous. That kiss. UNF
johnheller on March 28th, 2011 11:35 pm (UTC)
Wow...
skipper_patchellieet on September 2nd, 2011 03:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, boys...

Wonderful. Just wonderful. So vivid with imagery and fantastic on the subject of Sherlock's thought-processes.
Ruyuruyu on September 2nd, 2011 04:01 pm (UTC)
THANK YO U!